5 Mistakes Married Couples Make With Their Retirement Planning

For many married couples, “retirement planning” sounds like something Future You will handle,
right after Future You finally cleans out the garage. The reality is less cute: nearly two-thirds
of Americans say they fear running out of money in retirement more than death itself.
That fear is especially real for couples, who have to juggle two lifespans, two work histories,
and one shared bank account.

The good news? Most retirement planning mistakes are very fixable once you can see them clearly.
Think of this as a friendly audit of the “we’ll be fine” plan you and your spouse talk about
over Sunday pancakes but never actually write down.

Below are five big retirement planning mistakes married couples make, plus what to do instead so
you can enjoy your future together without budgeting every latte.

Mistake #1: Never Creating a Joint Retirement Plan

A lot of couples assume that if each person is saving “something” in a 401(k) or IRA, they must
be on track. But without a shared retirement plan, you’re basically playing financial tag in the
dark.

Different visions, one bank account

AARP has found that many couples get close to retirement with very different expectations about
when they’ll stop working, where they’ll live, and how they’ll spend their time.
One spouse is picturing a cozy beach condo; the other is mentally buying a 40-foot RV and
driving across the country with two dogs and a kayak. Without talking through those visions,
you can’t build a realistic budget or savings target.

The “my accounts” vs. “our future” problem

It’s very common for couples to treat retirement accounts as individual projects“your 401(k),”
“my IRA”instead of pieces of one household plan. Financial planners stress that couples should
look at their total retirement savings, asset allocation, and projected income as a single
portfolio tied to shared goals.

How to fix it

• Have the money talk (again and again).
  Schedule a “retirement date night” once or twice a year. Bring numbers and dreams: estimated
  Social Security benefits, 401(k)/IRA balances, and what you each want life to look like at 60, 65, 70+.
• Write down a household plan.
  Include target retirement age for each spouse, desired lifestyle, approximate annual spending,
  and how much you need saved to support that.
• Revisit after big life changes.
  New baby, job loss, caregiving for parents, health issuesthese can all shift your retirement
  timeline and savings strategy.

Mistake #2: Not Coordinating Retirement Accounts and Tax Strategy

Another classic couple mistake: each spouse optimizes their own accounts in isolation. Husband
maxes his 401(k); wife leaves free employer match on the table. Or one spouse invests very
aggressively while the other sits in ultra-safe cash, leaving the household portfolio lopsided.

Leaving “free money” on the table

Many financial planners emphasize one basic rule for dual-income couples: each spouse should
contribute at least enough to their 401(k) to earn the full employer match, if offered.
Not taking that match is essentially refusing a raise. Over decades, that missing match and
compounding growth can mean tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars less in your nest egg.

Ignoring spousal IRAs

If one spouse doesn’t work for pay, many couples assume that person can’t have their own
retirement account. Not true. A “spousal IRA” allows the working spouse’s income to qualify the
nonworking spouse for IRA contributions, subject to IRS rules and income limits.
It’s a powerful tool for couples where one partner steps back from work for childcare or other
caregiving.

Missing tax advantages as a team

Married couples filing jointly often benefit from broader tax brackets and a higher standard
deduction. Coordinated contributionsto 401(k)s, IRAs, HSAs, and other accountscan lower the
couple’s total tax bill and free up more money to save.

How to fix it

• Start with employer matches.
  Make sure both spouses get the full match before one of you tries to max out a single plan.
• Consider Roth vs. traditional together.
  Decide which spouse should prioritize Roth contributions (pay tax now, grow tax-free) and
  which should focus on traditional (deduct now, pay tax later), based on income and projected
  retirement tax brackets.
• Use a spousal IRA if eligible.
  This can help keep the nonworking spouse’s retirement savings on track when they’re out of
  the workforce.

Mistake #3: Misunderstanding Social Security for Married Couples

Social Security is not just a “you” benefitit’s a “we” benefit. Yet couples often make claiming
decisions as if they are single, or they claim as early as possible because “we paid into it, we
want it back now!”

Claiming too early without a strategy

AARP and other experts repeatedly point out that many retirees claim Social Security as soon as
they’re eligible at 62, locking in permanently reduced benefits.
For couples, this can be especially costly: the higher earner’s benefit determines what the
surviving spouse may receive as a survivor benefit later.

Ignoring spousal and survivor benefits

Spousal and survivor rules are complicated, but very important. The higher earner delaying
benefitssometimes up to age 70can significantly increase lifetime income for the couple, and
especially for the surviving spouse.
Financial planners often view Social Security as a form of “longevity insurance”a guaranteed
income stream that lasts as long as you live.

How to fix it

• Analyze as a household, not as individuals.
  Use Social Security calculators or work with a planner to test different claiming ages for
  each spouse and the combined lifetime benefit.
• Let the higher earner consider waiting.
  Delaying the higher earner’s benefit can substantially increase the survivor benefit if that
  person passes away first.
• Don’t rely solely on “rules of thumb.”
  Your health, age gap, and work history all matter. Rules like “always claim at 62/67/70”
  ignore your actual situation.

Mistake #4: Underestimating Health Care and Long-Term Care Costs

If retirement were a movie, healthcare would be the surprise villain that shows up in the third
act and blows up the budget.

Healthcare is not “just another bill”

A major study cited by Fidelity estimated that an age-65 couple might need around $315,000 to
cover medical expenses in retirementnot including long-term care.
More recent research suggests pre-retirees dramatically underestimate healthcare costs, which
now average around $8,600 per person per year in retirement, and may rise significantly with
inflation.

The long-term care blind spot

Long-term carehelp with daily activities like bathing, dressing, or memory supportis another
huge budget wildcard. Many couples assume “our kids will take care of us,” or one spouse assumes
they’ll be the caregiver, without actually discussing how that works emotionally or financially.

How to fix it

• Make a healthcare line item in your retirement budget.
  Don’t just lump it into “miscellaneous.” Use realistic estimates for premiums, out-of-pocket
  expenses, and prescriptions based on your current health and Medicare choices.
• Plan for pre-Medicare years.
  If either of you retires before 65, budget for ACA marketplace premiums or COBRA, which can be
  much higher than employer coverage.
• Talk about long-term care.
  Consider whether you’ll self-insure, explore long-term care insurance or hybrid policies, or
  plan to downsize to a community that offers higher levels of care.

Mistake #5: Having No Distribution Strategy (a.k.a. “We’ll Just Take Money Out”)

You’ve saved diligentlygreat. But how will you turn those savings into an income stream you
can’t outlive? Many couples spend decades mastering the “save and invest” part and almost no
time thinking about the “withdraw and spend” stage.

Guessing your withdrawal rate

You may have heard of the “4% rule,” a common guideline suggesting you can safely withdraw about
4% of your portfolio in the first year of retirement and adjust for inflation after that.
Some planners now think many couples can support 4–5% depending on their investment mix, risk
tolerance, and time horizon, but there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

Not factoring in taxes and inflation

If you pull $60,000 from tax-deferred accounts, you won’t actually get $60,000 to spend. Federal
and state income taxes will take a bite. At the same time, inflation quietly erodes your
purchasing power, which is why advisors stress investing at least part of your portfolio in
growth assets even in retirement.

How to fix it

• Build a basic “retirement paycheck” plan.
  Decide which accounts to tap first, how much to withdraw annually, and how to keep one to
  three years of essential expenses in relatively stable investments.
• Coordinate withdrawals as a couple.
  Sometimes it makes sense to draw more from one spouse’s accounts earlier (for tax or RMD
  reasons) while letting the other grow.
• Stress-test your plan.
  Many advisors recommend checking how your plan would hold up under market downturns, higher
  inflation, or major healthcare shocks.

Putting It All Together: A Team Sport, Not a Solo Mission

The biggest theme running through all these mistakes is simple: couples treat retirement as a
pair of individual journeys instead of one shared project. When you plan togethercoordinating
accounts, tax strategy, Social Security timing, healthcare, and withdrawalsyou reduce the odds
of nasty surprises later.

You don’t have to turn into spreadsheet-loving finance nerds overnight (unless you secretly
want to). But blocking a few hours a year to talk through your retirement planning as a team can
be worth more than any hot stock tip.

If the process feels overwhelming, consider working with a fiduciary financial advisor who
regularly works with married couples. They can help you build and maintain a plan that supports
both partners’ goalsnot just whoever happens to be more “into” money.

Real-World Lessons: Experiences from Couples Who Got It Wrong (and Right)

Concepts are helpful. Stories are sticky. To really see how these retirement planning mistakes
play out in real life, it helps to look at a few real-world-style scenarios. Names changed,
drama very real.

Case 1: The “We Saved a Lot, So We’re Fine” Couple

Mark and Lisa were both high earners who maxed their 401(k)s for years. When they hit their
early 60s, their combined balance looked impressive. They figured that was all they needed to
know and started planning their “goodbye boss, hello vineyard tour” email.

Once they met with a planner, the picture changed. They had:

• No clear idea how much they actually spent each year.
• Two conflicting retirement ages (Mark wanted to leave at 62, Lisa thought she’d stay to 67).
• No plan for healthcare before Medicare or for long-term care.
• Both planned to claim Social Security at 62 “just to be safe.”

When someone finally ran the numbers, they realized that claiming early and carrying their
current lifestyle into an early retirement could have them drawing far more than a sustainable
withdrawal rateespecially if one of them faced a health shock.

Their fix? They worked backwards. They trimmed some big-ticket travel plans in the first few
years, delayed Mark’s retirement by two years, and had him wait to claim Social Security until
70 to boost survivor benefits for Lisa. They also carved out a separate bucket just for
healthcare and built in a realistic buffer for long-term care.

Case 2: The One-Income Household That Forgot the Nonworking Spouse

Carla stayed home with the kids for 15 years while her husband, Dan, worked in tech. Dan always
contributed to his 401(k), but they never opened an IRA for Carla because “she doesn’t have
income.” When the kids got older and Carla went back to work part-time, she realized she had
essentially no retirement savings in her own name.

This made her feel incredibly vulnerableespecially after seeing friends go through divorces or
early widowhood. What she didn’t know was that they could have been contributing to a spousal
IRA for years, giving her more independent security and tax-advantaged growth.

When they finally met with an advisor, they started using Carla’s new income plus some of Dan’s
to fund her IRA aggressively. They also revisited their beneficiary designations, life
insurance, and survivor benefit planning to make sure Carla would be protected if something
happened to Dan. It didn’t fix the lost years, but it gave her a clear path forward.

Case 3: The “We’ll Just Help the Kids First” Parents

Another common experience: couples who love their kids a little too much financially. Think:
co-signing on big loans, paying for grad school and weddings, helping with down payments, and
“temporarily” supporting adult children who never quite launch.

Many retirees later tell surveyors that one of their biggest regrets is not saving enough and
overextending themselves earlier in life.
The couple may feel heroic supporting the kids, but if they underfund their own retirement,
those same kids could end up shouldering the emotional and financial burden of supporting their
parents later.

A healthier approach? Put your own oxygen mask on first. Agree as a couple on what you’re
willing and able to do for adult children without compromising your minimum retirement needs.
Then put it in writing so future decisions aren’t driven purely by guilt or emotion.

Case 4: The Couple Who Never Talked About “What Happens If…”

Finally, there’s the invisible emotional side of retirement planning. Many couples avoid
engaging with worst-case scenariosillness, cognitive decline, early deathbecause it feels
morbid. But this avoidance can lead to confusion and conflict just when the family needs clarity
most.

Couples who do this well build not just a financial plan, but a “what if” plan: who manages the
money if one spouse can’t, where key documents are stored, how they’d adjust if one person has
to stop working sooner than expected, and how to protect the more vulnerable spouse in terms of
income and housing.

These conversations aren’t always fun, but couples who have them tend to feel calmer and more
confident. They know that whatever happens, they’re facing it as a teamwith a plan.

Ultimately, the biggest “experience-based” takeaway is this: couples rarely regret planning too
much. They almost always regret waiting too long. Start messy if you have to, start small if
you mustbut start together.