How To Get Over Someone ∎ 18 Master Tips ∎ Dumblittleman

Getting over someone can feel like your brain signed up for a streaming service called “Highlights of Us”and it keeps autoplaying the same episode at 2 a.m.
One minute you’re fine, the next minute a random song in a grocery store turns you into a sad rotisserie chicken. If that’s you: welcome to being human.

This guide is a practical, compassionate, and slightly funny roadmap for moving onwithout pretending you’re “totally over it” when you’re clearly Googling
“how long does heartbreak last” with one hand and eating cereal for dinner with the other.

Why It Hurts So Much (and Why That’s Normal)

When a relationship ends, you’re not just losing a personyou’re losing routines, future plans, inside jokes, and the comfort of being someone’s “default.”
That’s why breakups can feel like grief. Your mind has to update its expectations, and updates are always annoying (especially the emotional kind).

The goal isn’t to erase your feelings. The goal is to stop those feelings from driving the car while you sit in the trunk with a juice box and regret.
Healing looks more like: small improvements, occasional setbacks, and gradually reclaiming your life.

18 Master Tips to Get Over Someone (Without Becoming a Professional Sufferer)

1) Let yourself grieveyes, even if you “should be over it”

“Should” is the least helpful word in heartbreak. Give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, confused, relievedsometimes all before lunch.
Grief isn’t proof you’re weak; it’s proof you cared. Set a simple rule: you can feel it, but you don’t have to worship it.

2) Stop negotiating with reality

A breakup can trigger bargaining thoughts: “If I just explain better…,” “If I change…,” “If we talk one more time…”
Healing starts when you stop arguing with what happened and start dealing with what’s true today.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you like it. It means you’re done wrestling the facts.

3) Try a “no-contact” window (or the closest version you can manage)

If you can take space from your extexts, DMs, “accidental” likes, and detective work through mutual friendsdo it.
Think of it as emotional detox: fewer triggers means fewer spikes. If you share classes, family, work, or parenting responsibilities,
aim for “minimum necessary contact” with clear boundaries.

4) Remove the loudest triggers (you don’t have to delete your whole life)

You don’t need to burn every hoodie in a dramatic bonfire (though the imagery is strong). Start smaller:
move photos to a hidden folder, mute or unfollow, change your lock screen, and stash the “relationship museum items” in a box.
You’re not erasing historyyou’re reducing re-injury.

5) Keep your basic self-care boring and non-negotiable

Heartbreak loves chaos: sleep gets weird, meals turn into “a handful of crackers,” and your routine evaporates.
Fight back with basics: regular sleep/wake time, real meals, hydration, and a shower that isn’t purely symbolic.
When your body stabilizes, your emotions stop feeling like a 24/7 thunderstorm.

6) Move your bodybecause feelings get stuck in it

You don’t need a six-pack. You need circulation. A 20-minute walk, a dance break, stretching, a beginner workoutanything counts.
Movement reduces stress, helps sleep, and gives your brain a new channel to run on that isn’t “replay the breakup.”
Bonus: fresh air is surprisingly persuasive.

7) Lean on your people (and be specific about what you need)

Don’t isolate and call it “being strong.” Text a friend, sit with family, join a club, talk to a counselor.
And be clear: “Can you distract me?” “Can you let me vent for ten minutes?” “Can we do something outside?”
Support works best when it’s practical, not vague.

8) Write it outyour brain needs a place to put the thoughts

Journaling helps because it turns the swirl into sentences. Try one of these prompts:
“What do I missand what do I not miss?” “What did this relationship teach me?” “What do I want next time?”
You can even write a letter you never send. The point is processing, not persuading.

9) Make a “rumination budget” (yes, schedule the spiraling)

If your mind keeps looping, give it a container. Pick a daily 15-minute window to think, cry, journal, or rant into a pillow.
When the thoughts show up outside that window, say: “Not now, I’ve got you at 7:15.”
It sounds sillyuntil it works.

10) Practice self-compassion like it’s a skill (because it is)

Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend: kind, honest, not overly dramatic.
Replace “I’m unlovable” with “I’m hurting, and I’m learning.”
Self-compassion doesn’t make you softit keeps you from adding shame on top of pain.

11) Watch the “memory highlight reel” with a fact-checker

After a breakup, your brain often edits the relationship into a romantic montage.
Balance it with reality: list the dealbreakers, the conflicts, the unmet needs, and the moments you felt small or anxious.
Missing someone doesn’t mean they were good for you long-term.

12) Avoid the quick-fix traps (they’re expensive and messy)

The common traps: stalking social media, drunk-texting, using hookups to numb pain, or “proving you’re fine” by forcing a glow-up crisis.
You don’t need to win the breakup Olympics. You need to heal.
Choose coping that helps tomorrow-you, not just right-now-you.

13) Rebuild your identity in tiny pieces

Relationships can become a big part of who you are. After a breakup, start collecting “me” moments again:
hobbies, music, sports, volunteering, learning something new, or revisiting interests you paused.
Your life isn’t on holdit’s under renovation.

14) Create a simple daily structure (heartbreak hates a calendar)

Make a short plan each day: one body thing (walk), one mind thing (read), one social thing (text a friend),
and one responsibility thing (school/work task). Keep it realistic.
Structure gives you forward motion even when motivation is missing.

15) Try a “closure ritual” that doesn’t require their participation

Closure isn’t something someone gives you like a certificate. It’s something you create.
Examples: write down what you’re releasing and tear it up, donate items that carry heavy memories,
take a solo day trip to mark a new chapter, or rearrange your room to signal “fresh start.”

16) Set boundaries with mutual friends (kindly, not dramatically)

Mutual friends can accidentally keep you stuck. Say it plainly:
“I’m taking spaceplease don’t update me on them.” “I’m not ready to hang out together yet.”
Real friends won’t treat your healing like gossip entertainment.

17) Decide what you’re learning (without blaming yourself for everything)

Reflection is useful; self-punishment isn’t. Ask: What did I do well? What do I want to do differently next time?
What needs did I ignore? What boundaries will I set sooner?
Growth is the “meaning” your brain wantsgive it something healthy to chew on.

18) Know when to get extra support (because some breakups hit harder)

If weeks go by and your distress feels intense, constant, or you can’t functionsleeping, eating, school/work, friendships
consider talking to a mental health professional. If you ever feel unsafe or like you might hurt yourself, tell a trusted adult immediately
and seek urgent help in your area. Needing support is not failure; it’s problem-solving.

Common “Moving On” Mistakes (So You Can Skip the Bonus Pain)

• Confusing nostalgia with compatibility: Missing them doesn’t automatically mean the relationship worked.
• Staying in contact “as friends” too soon: Friendship can be real later, but not while your wound is still open.
• Tracking their life online: It’s like picking a scab and asking why it won’t heal.
• Making your life a performance: Healing is not a social media campaign.

How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?

There’s no universal timeline. Some people feel lighter in weeks; others need months (or longer) depending on the relationship,
how it ended, and what else is going on in life. Instead of obsessing over a deadline, watch for progress:
fewer intrusive thoughts, more “normal” days, a return of appetite and focus, and excitement about future plans.

A helpful mindset: healing is not linear. You can have a great week and still get ambushed by a memory.
That doesn’t mean you’re back at zero. It means you’re human with a brain that stores love in weird places.

of Real-Life Breakup Experiences (Messy, Funny, and Totally Survivable)

Let’s get real: most people don’t “move on” like a movie montage where you throw on a blazer, walk past a café window,
and suddenly you’re thriving with perfect hair. Real breakups are stranger than thatmore like a series of tiny moments where you choose yourself
even when your feelings are screaming.

Experience #1: The Playlist Ambush. One person I know couldn’t escape “their song.”
It played at the gym, in stores, and somehow even in a dentist’s office (why does the dentist need emotional damage?). Their fix wasn’t dramatic:
they made a new playlist called “Nope.” Every time the old song hit, they switched to the new playlist and did one physical thingwalk, stretch, breathe.
After a couple weeks, the song stopped feeling like a punch and started feeling like… a song. Annoying, but survivable.

Experience #2: The Social Media Trap. Another person tried to stay “casually updated” by checking an ex’s profile “just once.”
Spoiler: it was never once. They noticed it ruined their whole daylike drinking seawater when you’re thirsty.
The solution was practical: mute/unfollow, delete shortcuts, and ask a friend to change their passwords for a two-week reset.
After the detox, their brain stopped expecting new information every hour, and the cravings faded.

Experience #3: The Empty Calendar Problem. After a breakup, weekends can feel huge and hollow.
One person created a “Saturday Stack”: one social plan (coffee with a friend), one self plan (long walk with a podcast),
and one life plan (laundry/meal prep). It wasn’t glamorous, but it prevented the classic 2 p.m. spiral where you end up texting your ex
because you’re bored and sad. Structure didn’t erase feelings; it kept feelings from running the schedule.

Experience #4: The Closure Myth. Someone else waited for an apology that never came.
They realized the wait was keeping them emotionally employed by a job they’d already quit. Their turning point was a “closure ritual”:
they wrote down the questions they wished could be answered, then wrote the most realistic answers based on the relationship’s patterns.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was freeingbecause closure became something they made, not something they begged for.

Experience #5: The Surprise Setback. Many people feel fine, then collapse after a random reminderan anniversary date,
a smell, a photo from years ago. A setback doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your brain is sorting old files.
The people who recover best treat setbacks like weather: “It’s raining today,” not “It will rain forever.”
They go back to basicssleep, food, movement, friendsand the storm passes faster each time.

Conclusion: You Don’t Need to Be Over ItYou Need to Be Going Through It

Getting over someone isn’t about forgetting them or pretending you never cared. It’s about reclaiming your attention, energy, and future.
Start with the next right thing: create space, protect your peace, lean on support, and rebuild your routine.
One day you’ll realize you went hours without thinking about themand that quiet is the sound of your life returning.